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190) B E Wyatt-Homburg 
Country: US
IP logged Mozilla/4.0 (compatible; MSIE 6.0; AOL 9.0; Windows NT 5.1; SV1)
Monday, 12 September 2005 01:00 Send E-mail

I am a survivor of incest. My father abused me for 6 teen years.
He stole my life from me. I have been in and out of therapy for years.
I have had many bad relationships. I don't know how to love me, and I don't know how to love God or man. I am on a spritual path now, seeking God's comfort. I know the incest was not my fault, yet I have punished myself all of my adult life because I thought I was guilty of bringing it on. I have fought for my sanity and for my life everyday. I am no longer ashamed of myself, yet I still abuse my body by staying overweight so men won't be attracted to me. I am married to a man who seems in no way to comprehend the damage done to me. Most of the time I just wish my life would end, I am so tired of fighting my thoughts. I'm not suicidal, unless you call smoking a slow suicide. It is hard not to hate my dad for ruining my life emotionally.
He has admitted it was wrong and he is so sorry he did it. But I will survive. I have to. I have to find peace before i die. I hurt for every woman out there who is a victim of incest. God help us all.

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