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69) mugu 
Location:
Country: GH
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Wednesday, 17 March 2004 01:00 Write a comment Send E-mail

nice page
68) Debbie Henning 
Location:
Country: US
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Thursday, 29 May 1997 01:00 Write a comment Send E-mail

I too have been deeply affected by years of abuse. I now pursue music as a solo singer/guitarist/songwriter You can hear hints of what I have been through woven into the words. Please come by and take a listen...drop me an e-mail. I'd love to hear from you!
67) katherine j 
Location:
Country: US
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Thursday, 29 May 1997 01:00 Write a comment Send E-mail

beautiful work!- to all those on their journey... i, 33 f, had a very bleak start > insested by father from 4-28 yrs old, molested by my step moms sister, she was 22,threatened with death if i spoke, raped by my real moms boyfriend, when i told his brother, he stabbed him in the juggler vein, in front of me......I had to confront my Father,as he was getting ready to do 'it' to my 8 yr old son and 4 yr oid daughter. Father responded that i was the deffect- so i cut him out of my life. VERY difficult at first!ive been hospitalized aprox 10 times for severe depression- suicide attempts....my marriage failed then i lost custody of my 3 kids because of being in the hospital on the day of the trial. IVE BEEN WORKING ON THESE ISSUES FOR NEARLY TEN YEARS NOW.........ITS BEEN A LONG HARD HAUL........I ALSO DID ALOT OF WRITING, DRAWING, SCREAMING ALONE IN MY CAR,TALKING,READING, PRAYING,HOPING,POUNDING PILLOWS,SLAPPING WET TOWELS ON CEMENT-SNAP!,GROUPS,COUNSELING,GIVING LIFE THE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT.........finally!!!!!! I am now a very happy, fufilled,calm,knowing my life will be ok,knowing i will get what i need, knowing i am loveable,knowing i will get to see my kids- no matter how far their father runs out of state .Even tho i am still feeling the effects of my childhood I am no longer the same NOW MY LIFE IS ABOUT VALIDATION NOT VIOLATION, and i just want all those who read this to know...it will get better,easier, brighter,lighter just stick to your journey,,please keep up the fight! others out here know your pain, want to hear your stories,care and love you...trully love you! thanks Terra
66) Melissa 
Location:
Country: US
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Thursday, 29 May 1997 01:00 Write a comment Send E-mail

Found this website very helpful. having a extremely high stress moment and turned to the web for some support. Thanks for all the links, and book resources. it's comforting to know others are out there.my best to all of you.
65) cyrus 
Location:
Country: IN
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Thursday, 29 May 1997 01:00 Write a comment Send E-mail

i m a male 35 yrs of age. in the childhood i had some experiences too a long time to come out of this. i wish to share my life with a lady, preferably from bombay.my email cyruscyrus11@rediffmail.com
64) Anonymous 
Location:
Country: US
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Thursday, 29 May 1997 01:00 Write a comment

Thank God for you Terra, Thank God for you!! I guess I always knew things weren't quite right with me. I can recall having nightmares since I was 6 or 7 . They usually where quite 'real' shall I say? No thoughts a child should have or know anything about! I have tried therapy, but I usually quit before I even get started. My past does NOT paint a very pretty picture. I to thought sex was a way to love....WRONG. I have set up another theraphy appt. for next week. Please pray for me, for I'm so scared and don't know if mentally I can handle facing 'the truth'. Thank you again, you are a friend I haven't even meet.
63) Katie 
Location:
Country: US
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Thursday, 29 May 1997 01:00 Write a comment Send E-mail

I just wanted to say that I find it really, really, REALLY reassuring that people have gone through what I have, and (most importantly) that they have come out alive!! Thanks for the hope.
62) backgrounds 
Location:
Country: US
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Thursday, 29 May 1997 01:00 Write a comment Send E-mail

Nice site...
61) beth 
Location:
Country: CA
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Thursday, 29 May 1997 01:00 Write a comment Send E-mail

thank you very much for the information, i am a survivor of incest, plus im gathering information for a family studies ISU. There arent very many information site purly on incest so when i found this site i was amazed at the info you had.thank you again!
60) Richard 
Location:
Country: US
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Thursday, 29 May 1997 01:00 Write a comment Send E-mail

This is a very nice site. My fiancee is coming to grips with her childhood abuse. Her grandfather, step brother, and a cousin. This happened over the course of several years. Looking at the checklist, she does or has done in the past. It has been and is very hard on me. I knew about this before I proposed to her, it does not matter I still love her regardless. What else can I do besides being supportive for her? If anyone has ideas please let me know.
59) Shai 
Location:
Country: US
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Thursday, 29 May 1997 01:00 Write a comment Send E-mail

Thank you for taking the time and energy to make such an inspirational page. I am proud to say that I am a SURVIVOR now. Still very much so in the first stages of healing......but I am trying to face this journey hoping that I can come to grips with so many things and live a normal life one day. Thanx again. Safe hugs if you want them.
58) sls 
Location:
Country: US
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Thursday, 29 May 1997 01:00 Write a comment Send E-mail

i can't believe how long this page is
57) Tina 
Location:
Country: US
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Thursday, 29 May 1997 01:00 Write a comment Send E-mail

Thank you for this site and for all of you who have told your story and made the taboo of child abuse that much less. I am a survivor of molestation/rape. I was molested by my dad's bestfriend at 15 and raped by two boyfriends repeatly for about 4 yrs. Talk about no self esteem. If I had any at the time I would have hurt them bad and left. Yes, I have a little anger about it:) Well I am only at the beginning of my healing but I would love to have some email friends. It's hard for me to trust people so I don't have very many friends. Please write back and good luck to everyone on there journey of healing.
56) TJ 
Location:
Country: US
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Thursday, 29 May 1997 01:00 Write a comment Send E-mail

You have a very beautiful and insirational site here. Thank you for posting the link in Marlana's page... TJ
55) Bethany 
Location:
Country: US
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Thursday, 29 May 1997 01:00 Write a comment Send E-mail

I wanted to thank you for all the valuable information...this site has helped me recognize myself as not alone better. It has made me see myself as a little less crazy...thank you!! *_*
54) Angie 
Location:
Country: US
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Thursday, 29 May 1997 01:00 Write a comment Send E-mail

Ty, It is wonderful to see how much you have continued to touch the lives of others. Your web page has become one of the most informative, sincere, and loving tools for the healing journey of many. In the time we were close, we learned a great deal from each other. Regardless of the distance and bridges between us, the gift we were to each other in our time of need was God-sent. Remember always how special you are to those who love you. Continue to give of yourself through your site. May God bless you and your family always. Angie
53) Anonymous 
Location:
Country: US
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Thursday, 29 May 1997 01:00 Write a comment

Dear Ty,Thank you for this fantastic site, I have been visiting for two years now, I tought I had sign your guesstbook a long time ago, my memory must have play dirty tricks with me, I am correcting this tonight.I saw many friend from Marlana's site,I an glad, she added it to hers,I sent many people here, because it is so complete.Good work.Thanks to you and those who contributed Mie
52) amy 
Location:
Country: US
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Thursday, 29 May 1997 01:00 Write a comment Send E-mail

I have suffered from depression on and off most of my life.I am going through the deepest depression I have ever experienced and finally decided it was time to get help.My first therapy session is tomorrow.Whenever I am going through these episodes of depression my thoughts always go to my biological father(I was adopted by whom I concider my real father at age 8)I believe that he sexually abused me starting at age 3.I dont have any real memories of the abuse but there is evidence that it did happen.I hope that through counceling I will remember, even though that scares me to death, because this has affected my life and my relationships tremendously.I need to find out exactly what happened and then work to put it behind me so I can finaly be truely happy and at peace.I have young children of my own and I look into their eyes and for the life of me I cant understand how someone could be so sick to hurt a child that way.It is unfair.I am about to start a very painful journy and it is comforting to know that I am not alone.My heart goes out to all who have been hurt so deeply by people who were suppost to care for them.I will be okay!
51) Anya 
Location:
Country: US
IP logged Mozilla/4.0 (compatible; MSIE 6.0; MSNIA; Windows 98; Win 9x 4.90)
Thursday, 29 May 1997 01:00 Write a comment Send E-mail

Terra, I understand your pain. At the age of 18 I thought I was still a virgin in college. I was raped and then memories from my childhood began to come in the forms of nightmares and flashbacks. I thought at first I was making it up because of the trauma from being raped. I had no one to turn too. I kept it all to myself and tried to push it away in my mind. I went on for two years this way. I was 20 when I met my first boyfriend. He wanted to have sex with me and I began vomiting. He asked me what was wrong and I stupidly opened my mouth and confided in him about the rape and all the nightmares I had been having. For the first time I felt all this rage and anger come out of me that I didn't even realize existed. He made me feel worse when he said, 'You mean I am not your first?' I felt ashamed, dirty, ugly, and more suicidal. I kept sinking lower and lower and on my 21st birthday(to make a long story short)I asked him to go with me to a club with my friends he said he didn't want me to go, but I needed the outlet so I told him I was going one way or the other. I went and it cost me my family. My aunt and grandmother ended up raising me. While at the club he called them and told them everything. I hadn't told them anything because I knew they wouldn't understand. I came home to them being angry at me which wasn't unusual. I asked them what was wrong and they said sit down so I did. They told me what they knew and asked me if it was true. I said yes and I started crying with relief that it was finally out. My grandmother asked me what I had been wearing the night I was raped. (She felt it was my fault because she said I was old enough to protect myself). I was wearing jeans, sweatshirt, bra, and underwear. Of course they didn't believe me; and my aunt asked me for my key to the house. I moved out. I was all ready to commit suicide that night. I had attempted many times before but unfortunately I never succeeded. I went to work the next day and was on the computer and started chatting with this man down in Texas. We only chatted 15 min and I asked if I could call him. I called him and began to open up for some unknown reason...(GOD probably) he talked to me from 1pm that day until six o'clock the next morning. It went on like that for 13 days. My aunt kept watching my friend's house all through the night calling me a slut etc...and I told him I couldn't take it anymore on the thirteenth night that something had to give. I was going to commit suicide. He only knew me by my voice we never saw pics of each other or nothing...but he asked me if I wanted to move to Texas...said he had a spare bedroom and a job waiting for me. Said that there would be no more pressure to deal with only healing. I finally moved down here January 2000. It was the beginning of my healing process. I am still so far off though. I have only touched the tip of the iceberg of my past. I suffer from Bi-polar depression and am not on meds. I also have endometriosis(scar tissue in my vagina and colon--severe) I have been told I can't conceive and haven't yet. We started off just being friends and have now been living together planning to wed early next year. My anger has been the hardest for him to deal with. Instead of focusing it on my past I focus it on the things in the present. I lash out at him and all men in my life with a vengeance. Still, he sticks by my side. My family on my mother's side have all had incest in each generation. I feel it has stopped with me...I feel no need to sexually abuse any children. I do have a temper problem with my dogs though. I am working on it. I have been sexually, mentally and physically abused from the age of three--maybe even before that--my earliest memory so far is age of three. The worst flashback for me is October 31, 1992. My mother was the main source of my abuse. She used me to get money. At the time my grandparents had custody of me but she had visitation. I was 12 yrs old. My aunt had made me a bunny costume for trick or treating and then when my mom picked me up she stripped me and put me into fishnet nylons, a short minny skirt with no underwear, and a skimpy blouse..kinda sketchy on this part. She took me to Ginger's a bar she always hung out at and started taking bids on me. One guy would pay take me back out in the alley **** me and drag me back in this happened for about two hours--maybe longer it seemed that way. My mother was leaving with me and as we walked out a bunch of men followed us out and started confronting my mom wanting to pay for another round. My mother was arguing with them saying they were going to have to pay more as she was drunk and arguing two of the guys yanked me from her grip and she never said shit,just kept arguing with the other guy about money. I watched as they ripped all my clothes off of me turned me around and did me from behind. I remember watching her and I was crying trying to scream but they had a hand over my mouth so it was muffled. All of a sudden the guy my mom was arguing with pulled out a knife and stabbed her in her stomach. They all ran. I ran to her screaming and crying and someone must have called the police. My mother told me I had to run home or she was going to kill me when she got out. Of course I believed her--I knew what she was capable of and I was afraid of being taken to a children's home because my mother always told me it was worse and I would never see my grandpa again(he was the only one who ever really loved me). I did run home and just cried in the shower. Some of the men had shoved there ***** down my throat and came so I boiled water in a saucepan and drank it burning my throat severly. I was rushed to the hospital but never told anyone why I did it...I have scar tissue in my throat now, but luckily I didn't lose my voice...I didn't boil the water hot enough to cause long term damage. There are more memories...but I am already taken up too much space. I just want people out there to realize that they are not alone as I once thought. I sometimes go into a little child reliving memories...if I am touched a certain way or certain spots, in similar places etc. I also have not cried in over seven yrs. My grandmother told me that I am not allowed to cry and all through my childhood...I only got the pain worse by crying. Mark(my fiance) is trying to change that...I can't cry over anything. It comes out in anger or extreme happiness--almost fake happiness. I have been to counseling...but either at the time we can't afford it or I don't feel comfortable enough...and it definitly can't be covered in one hour per week or month. I have been coping with everything on my own and still slip into deep depression often quitting or losing my job because I can't face getting out of bed. I also cope by smoking(this really helps me), eating gorging myself on ice cream or chocolate until I get sick other times making myself throw up and starving myself. It is 5:16am this morning and I got up yesterday at 8 am and still haven't slept. I have to be at court at 8 am this morning (car registration ticket) and be at work by 11 am...so I won't have no sleep until 8 pm tonight. I suffer all the time with all this stuff...I can't forget it it won't go away. I feel ashamed and ugly all the time. People tell me I am beautiful and I can't or won't accept it. I can look in the mirror but all I see is ugliness. Thank you for reading part of my story. This has helped some..but I feel as if I just made another mistake. I hope not...I just feel alone and need to get this stuff out.
50) Latrice Spence 
Location:
Country: US
IP logged Mozilla/4.0 (compatible; MSIE 6.0; MSNIA; Windows 98; Win 9x 4.90)
Thursday, 29 May 1997 01:00 Write a comment Send E-mail

This is a great website to come to tell you story I was raped whan i was five years old by my uncle in Southern California I felt so dirty So i know how everyone feels I am now 19 years old and I am moving on with my life.
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