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Recent Issues/Struggles.... (Read 2683 times)
Ty
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Posts: 847
Eastern Oregon
Gender: female
Recent Issues/Struggles....
Jan 22nd, 2012 at 9:54pm
 
I have hesitated in posting about some recent struggles/issues, mainly because I am concerned about who might find this website and read it...but I realized something the other day and feel that it is necessary for me to share with you.

A couple of years ago there was an incident where someone I know was being attacked (verbally). There were several people in the room, including men, and no one was doing anything about it. There were children present, and I decided that I could not sit by and allow this to happen. I stepped in and requested that the verbal attacking stop. The person then turned on me and started to yell and scream at me. I was in shock, and did not know what to do or why it was all happening in the first place.

Since then I had tried several times to 'let it go' and give this person another chance. After several attempts, I realized that I was in the midst of, what I felt, was a game. After constant harrassment I went to the police and asked them what I could do. They told me that I could request no contact...which I did. Things got quiet, and my soul was at peace.
A few months later I started to hear that other people from the church had been verbally assaulted in public places (the bank, the store, even at the church) by this person. I spoke with my husband and told him that enough was enough...and that someone needed to be done. We called his employer and asked what we could/should do...
We began a process to try and mediate the situation...and before I knew it...I was pulled back in the 'game'. In the last week I have struggled greatly with this whole situation. I realize that a lot of the anguish I am feeling is because I did not 'do' anything to protect other people from Rick. My hands felt tied at the time, and looking back I wish that I would have done more...fought harder.
In this situation I took a stand, and then became the target. Now, in the midst of this mediation, I have explained over and over that this whole situation is not about me...it was about protecting others from this persons actions. Unfortunately, the mediator(s) have put myself and this person on the same playing field...and I am SO incredibly angry. I feel as if I haven't been heard, I feel stuck, I feel that I have no control. I realize that what I did was right (trying to defend the well-being of others), but I also realize that I would not be in the middle of all this if I would have just allowed this person to continue to attack others....
It's SO Mind-blowing Angry!!!!! I want to kick and scream...and it makes me want to go back in time and kick and scream about Rick.

I have no resolution to this. I, just recently, decided to throw my hands up in the air and realize that I cannot do anything, despite all my efforts. I realize, now, that I have found myself in another situation where I am saying 'no' to abuse, and others are acting as if it's not abuse.....AAARRRRRGH!!!!!!

I guess I share this with you as it has been incredibly difficult me lately, and it has been pulling me into that dark place we so hate to be...and I DO NOT want to be there....but I cannot figure out what my options are....
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Allan
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Help is on the way!

Posts: 58
Georgia
Gender: male
Re: Recent Issues/Struggles....
Reply #1 - Feb 8th, 2012 at 7:02pm
 
Hi Terra,

Sorry you had to go through that.  I think all those other people who got yelled at should complain to authorities too.  If more than one person report him, it would look a lot different from their perspective.

Anyway, send me an e-mail sometime, if you want to talk or just vent.

--Allan


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Ty
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Posts: 847
Eastern Oregon
Gender: female
Re: Recent Issues/Struggles....
Reply #2 - Feb 16th, 2012 at 11:25am
 
Allan,
Thank you so much....things have been rough...and I so appreciate your support and friendship.

Hugs,
Terra
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