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might trigger but really need feedback on this (Read 3127 times)
lil
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getting there...

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might trigger but really need feedback on this
Jun 11th, 2006 at 1:32pm
 
dream starts......i'm living in the huge beautiful apartment.  my roomates are glamourous and beautiful.  since i am with them, i am too i guess.  things are wonderful beyond my wildest dreams.  the main guy though takes an interest in me.  i am suddenly his prisoner.  and not just.  i am put on display.  all the splendor and honor that was once mine is gone and i am lower than a dog on a pillow.  simply because the main guy wanted me to be.  i did nothing wrong.  he just picked me.  and then put me on display for all to see........
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ShiningThrough
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Re: might trigger but really need feedback on this
Reply #1 - Jun 11th, 2006 at 7:49pm
 
You said it yourself--"You did nothing wrong."

And then you were degraded, humiliated. All the very private and intimate parts of you were torn away--same as being put on display.

Sounds exactly like how I felt after each episode of the s/a that I survived. Of course, the "did nothing wrong" part didn't factor in until I was an adult on therapy year three or four.

I wish you peaceful slumber, soon.
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There are years that ask questions and years that answer.  - Zora Neale Hurston
 
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lostsoul
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Bearing through it!

Posts: 2006
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Re: might trigger but really need feedback on this
Reply #2 - Jun 13th, 2006 at 11:00am
 
I agree with Shining Through - at first I was concerned it might reflect what you were feeling with your current marriage but the comment that you didn't do anything wrong made me think it all pertains to your past.  Perhaps you are battling with allowing yourself to understand it's not your fault, you were the innocent one. Life was going great until someone came in and brought it all down.

SOrry you have been struggling so much. I'm thinking of you

Kate
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