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Disequilibrium (a work in progress...) (Read 2247 times)
Monica
Share Bear
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Take that you evil perverts!
Mwa Ha Ha!
Posts: 207
Missouri, USA
Gender:
Disequilibrium (a work in progress...)
Mar 7
th
, 2006 at 6:39pm
This sounds like a bunch of jumbled thoughts to me, I really need to work on it, but here's what I have so far:
Disequilibrium
You tore me to pieces
Then smooth out the creases
You shouldn't have left me alive
You revel in sickness
With no one to witness
You shouldn't have left me alive
You're out of excuses
Your reasons are useless
Nowhere to retreat to;
It's come back to eat you
You thought you could hide
From the monster inside
Well, it looks like you're dying
And no one is crying
So why are you laughing
When everything's crashing
You shouldn't have left me alive
And believe it or not,
Now I leave you to rot--
You shouldn't have left me alive.
______________________________________
Any suggestions would be helpful.
Thanks,
~Monica
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Ines
Care Bear
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One of many
Posts: 652
NYC
Gender:
Re: Disequilibrium (a work in progress...)
Reply #1 -
Mar 7
th
, 2006 at 6:45pm
Monica,
Your ability to convey your feelings this well is very impressive... I have no suggestions. I like what you have so far... Let your creative soul do the work... Once this piece is finished it will be even more impressive.
I am in awe to say the least.
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It has been said, 'time heals all wounds.' I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But, it is never gone.&&~Rose Fitzgerald Kennedy~
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Chantell
Care Bear
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Posts: 524
Missouri
Gender:
Re: Disequilibrium (a work in progress...)
Reply #2 -
Mar 13
th
, 2006 at 1:26pm
Very good. I like it tho it's sad.
How have you been lately anyway? Haven't talked to you in ages, I'm back online now, so IM me or email whenever.
Love,
Chantell
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He is their strength in the time of trouble. And the Lord shall help them, and deliver them: He shall deliver them from the wicked, and save them, because they trust in him.
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