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Voices (Read 3440 times)
Ines
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Voices
Dec 13th, 2005 at 8:40am
 
The voices in my head
I hear them all the time
Sometimes their sound deafens me
To everyone else  they are me
Seperate compartments, fragments of me
Somehow never adding up to a whole
Sometimes I think they'll drive me mad
Or maybe I am already there

Each voice seperate
Distinct
Some are quiet
Passive
Some are loud
Angry
Some are the voices of pain
Sometimes they become so demanding
That I desperately seek a way to silence them
Sometimes the voice crying out for self-destruction
Becomes so powerful the others hammer for attention
To distract me from the suicidal path

I wonder sometimes
How this head of mine
Can contain all these voices
When they all scream to be noticed
I become frantic to meet all their needs
The voices become silent sometimes
And for a while there is peace
Not the peace of resolution
But the uneasy peace between opposing forces
Too tired to continue the war
And the voices
Are the voices of children
Children begging to be loved
To know that someone cares
That someone gives a damn

I know that these voices
Are the different aspects of me
And the only way to silence them
Is to listen to what they have to say
Each voice cries out to be an individual
Each is afraid of dying
All but the one who seeks death
She is afraid of
Living
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It has been said, 'time heals all wounds.' I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But, it is never gone.&&~Rose Fitzgerald Kennedy~
 
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Mandi
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Re: Voices
Reply #1 - Dec 13th, 2005 at 9:40am
 
Thanks for sharing with us Ines!  You made it clear what it's like inside of your head.  And I understand why they are there and why they want to be heard.  Have you shared this with your therapist?  I think it's something that every therapist should read in regards to multiple personalities.  I think it would be really cool if you did a poetry book on being a survivor ~ along with your illustrations.  Gold!!!  Thanks again for letting us in. 

Big safe hugs, (if you want)
Mandi Smiley
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At some point, you have to make a decision.Boundaries don't keep other people out.They fence you in.Life is messy.That's how we're made.So,you can waste your lives drawing lines.Or you can live your l
 
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Chantell
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Re: Voices
Reply #2 - Dec 13th, 2005 at 10:08am
 
Hi Ines~
I agree with Mandi, that was a wonderful way to express the way you are feeling, and it helped me understand a lot.
Hang in there.  Smiley
Chantell
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He is their strength in the time of trouble. And the Lord shall help them, and deliver them: He shall deliver them from the wicked, and save them, because they trust in him.
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ciaro
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Re: Voices
Reply #3 - Dec 15th, 2005 at 3:27pm
 
Thank you  for sharing and making me feel a little more normal (if there is such a thing), knowing someone else can describe such a thing.
Some of the voices in my head have body shapes(each one disjointed and missing body parts, so none can survive alone outside the head) which I have been able to draw.
That is the furthest I have been able to get to integrate them.
They are all separete entities, there is no 'whole', just scattered fragments.
Thanks again.  There are not too many people who understand.
We haope we haven't feaked people out by saying this.  Always afraid someone will lock us away if they knew  Embarrassed
Thanks Ines
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Tracey
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Re: Voices
Reply #4 - Dec 28th, 2005 at 11:09am
 
Ciaro and Ines,

No-one is 'going to lock you away'.

It is wonderful of you to be able to express yourselves (all parts) here.  All I can reflect it to is that I talk to my T about my 'white side' and my 'black side'.  I drew her a picture of one person (Me) with a line down the middle and coloured one side in black.  The 'black side' won't trust, doesn't want to live and she want to run away and be alone.  The 'white side' wants to love to trust and to stay here on this earth.  Between the two is resistance and the battle I find myself between.  I don't have voices I hear, I simply feel in a battle with myself at times of distress.  Yet Ines, I do feel I have 'separate compartments' sometimes . . . ..

Thanks for sharing.

Tracey
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Happiness is a journey, not a destination.
 
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nomore
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Re: Voices
Reply #5 - Dec 28th, 2005 at 2:51pm
 
Hi Ines,

Your expression is amazing.  You really should write a book, including all of your work.  You have such a way of reaching others, putting words and pictures to feelings we share.

Keep posting.  I'm so happy to see you again.

Janet
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