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Victory vs. defeat (Read 1916 times)
Care Bear

Deep inside this armour,
the warrior is a child..

Posts: 586
Dallas, Texas
Gender: female
Victory vs. defeat
Jul 22nd, 2004 at 8:08pm

I am free
Freed by age and personal responsibility.
Free to hide no more beneath my bed.
Free from pain and free from dread.

Clearer than ever my eye could see
abuse adds new dimensions to reality.
For despite freedom from the demons that pursued me
My mind replays those past atrocities.

For this age I did pray
When I could be independent and unafraid.
I vowed to create a safe place for me
Where fear was conquered and I had no urge to flee.

Yet here I sit on of my bed
Fighting the visions in my head.
Like a battle worn warrior I swing wide and slow,
striking at memories blow by blow.
And without any effort that I can see,
my opponent swings and the vision wounds with finality.
With a vivid scene of the past -
the pain floods in, my strength does not last.

I lie down.

A hideous reality floods my heart.
I knew this with out recognition from the start.
As hope drowns in the tears of another vision I now concede
the evil inhabits my mind and between it and I there is no division.

What options are there left for me.
I can not live entombed by my mind in its evil reality.
I see no alternative but to destroy it
or forever quake in the presences of its infirmity.

So then death becomes my savior and darkness my healing balm.
victory will be won when this mind is gone.

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Care Bear

Thanks for noticing...

Posts: 568
Gender: female
Re: Victory vs. defeat
Reply #1 - Jul 23rd, 2004 at 6:32pm
How sad this poem is Warrior,
   I used to think death was my only savior glad I am not in that place anymore....

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If you do get fearful, close your eyes, have your mind reach deep within, wish for the first thing that comes to mind...Now listen carefully, YOU MUST WISH FOR WHAT YOU WANT RATHER THAN WHAT YOU FEAR!
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Baby Bear

Bearing through it!

Posts: 25
Saint Louis Mo
Gender: female
Re: Victory vs. defeat
Reply #2 - Nov 8th, 2005 at 8:07pm
Another poem out of context... it is so important to see the progress from victim to victor.
The Name of this Poem IS VICTORY?
You can find it an the rest of  the story at

Please anyone who read this and was affected by it read the rest of the story... I have not desire to depress anyone.... Perhaps I should just post the entire story in order here on your boards to help.. the story does not end in defeat.

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