Bearing Through It
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Matanah (Read 1136 times)
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Buckle up and Hang on!

Posts: 463
Gender: female
Mar 18th, 2003 at 6:31am
Regarding my post about pushing away my friend and learning how to breath and feel. 

I feel like I have been shut down for so long that all these emotions and feelings are new to me and I find a bit scary.  I don't know how to feel half the time and the other half there are so many feelings overwhelming me at once I don't know what to think or how to deal with it.  As for breathing, I'm learning to slow down, relax and take deep breaths...something new and foreign to me.

I guess I can't beat myself up over this but I am hurt and angry with myself for doing this.  However, like you said, if he's a friend, he'll forgive me or try to understand.  If not, then there is nothing I can do about it and I can't regret the way I acted.  I am who I am.

I just feel like I have very few friends that I'm comfortable with in my life.  I have all of you and I have my A.A. family and then there is only maybe 2 others I can do things with and am happy to be with, this person that I pushed away was one of them.

One day at a time.

Love and hugs to you

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