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Bearing Through It >> Dream Space >> Recurring Nightmare

Message started by Monica on Feb 20th, 2006 at 11:41pm

Title: Recurring Nightmare
Post by Monica on Feb 20th, 2006 at 11:41pm
First of all, I'm really glad someone thought of this because my nightmares are my biggest problem when it comes to dealing with my past and the abuse.  

I keep having different versions of the same dream.  In one, I was taken hostage by some guy, and my mom was there with me.  He held a gun to my head and started forcing himself on me, and I kept crying out to my mom to come help me.  I told her we could both take him down together if she would help me, but she refused and said the police would be there any minute to help me.  In another, I was walking home alone because my car broke down, and these two guys grabbed me and one of them raped me.  I managed to get to my mom's house and I asked her to call the police.  She knew the guy who had raped me but she refused to turn him in.

I know, of course, what all this means.  It's always me being sexually abused and my mother failing to protect me.  I thought I had forgiven my mom a long time ago, but why, then, do I keep having these nightmares?  Does anyone else have this problem?

Title: Re: Recurring Nightmare
Post by revenna on Feb 21st, 2006 at 12:51pm

First of all, I'm sorry you're having such terrifying nightmares.  I'm glad you felt you could share them with us.

You raised an interesting question.  Why do we dream the same things over and over?  I do this, too.  For a long time, I had the same 2 dreams.  In one, I was about to be raped.  In another, I watched people from my hometown being marched to a guillotine.  The terror I felt in these dreams was beyond words.  Do you feel terror during your nightmares?

I thought you made an interesting point, saying that you thought you had forgiven your mother -- yet the dreams continue.  My T told me once that we use our dreams to process information and emotions and that it's the mind's way of helping us work things out.  If that is the case, maybe it's taking time for you to forgive your mother.  After all, as a survivor of abuse, you have a lot to forgive her for.  I can relate to what you wrote because my mother knew about the abuse and didn't help me either and much of my anger in recovery has been directed at her.  So if what my T said is true, maybe these dreams (frightening though they are) are just a way for your mind to process everything.  

Also, I wonder if our dreams aren't a way of processing our fears about the molestation, too.  As children, our minds could only handle so much.  Maybe we are expressing some of that terror from childhood now in our sleep.  

I'm sorry you are having such frightening dreams.  I hope you can move on soon to a more peaceful sleep.


Title: Re: Recurring Nightmare
Post by Ginee on Feb 24th, 2006 at 5:26pm
That's how I first remebered my abuse; in a reoccuriing dream. It took a long time for me to face the reality of it. My T once told me that when we have reoccuring dreams it means that our minds are trying to make us work through something that we keep trying to repress or ignore.

Title: Re: Recurring Nightmare
Post by Rivkele on Feb 24th, 2006 at 6:08pm
Hi Monica,

Sorry you keep having such horrible dreams! You're right it sounds pretty clear what they're about. I guess just because we feel like we've forgiven someone doesn't mean we stop feeling the hurt and fear and betrayal. I think you have a lot to feel angry about. I wish your mom could have protected you the way you needed for her to. Your dreams really show how badly you were let down by the adults who were supposed to take care of you.
I can relate to those dreams. I used to have lots of dreams of being attacked by rapists and men with knives ~ I always woke up so terrified. I'd have to sleep with the light on. I don't have so many nightmares lately but I do from time to time and I really hate it. I hope as you get further into counselling the nightmares diminish.

Thanks for sharing.

Take care,


Title: Re: Recurring Nightmare
Post by Ty on Mar 18th, 2006 at 10:33pm
Hi Monica,

I saw your post when it first came up, and just didn't get the opportunity to respond...but you peaked my interest.

Are you still having these dreams? I was wondering if perhaps you have forgiven your mom, but that  you haven't come to terms with the reality that she wasn't a protective mom.  It's almost as if you are seeing, in your dreams, that your mom is victimizing you as much as your attackers...that she knows how to help you, but chooses not to take action immediately.

I hope that you can gain closure on this. Nightmare are horrific, and I am glad you feel safe to share them with us here.

The 'recurring nightmare' really caught my eye because I specifically remembered a nightmare I had as a child...over and over. I have never figured out what the nightmare was about, so it continues to linger with me.

When I think about what the dream was it seems silly...almost cartoonish, but as a child I remember being terrified.

I am at the doctors office and he comes in with his coat on and his stethoscope. I am instructed to take off my clothes, and the doctor turns into a weasel and begins to chase me...and I run, because I know that he wants to eat me.

I had that dream so many times, and I truly have no clue as to what it meant/means.


Thanks for sharing with us :) Keep us posted on how it is going!


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